Sugichan's random funness...

"I was watching your long, beautiful eyelashes all night alone
While you were sleeping and dreaming

I hear there is a destined soul mate for everyone
Surely in the only one life

But most of us can’t find the one
For example, we can’t notice even when the one is in front of us
Because we pass by
While we are afraid of being hurt by believing

If I had one more wing
And could fly freely in the sky like a bird
I’d like to float down your shoulder gently
And fall asleep, whispering love

he night wind has moved your bangs, a little too long
And casted a dark shadow

If there is a destined soul mate for everyone
Surely in the only one life

When you look into someone’s eyes and feel something
Please don’t let go of the person’s hand you are holding tight
Because I’m sure
No one in the world is used to losing

If I had one more wing
And could fly freely in the sky like a bird
I’d like to float down your shoulder gently
And wipe my tears I couldn’t hold back

If I had one more wing
And could fly freely in the sky like a bird
I’d like to give the both wings to you
So that you can fly to anywhere you want.” ~ Ayumi Hamasaki (November)


Ayumi Hamasaki song similiarties

In the past I had found lyrics between Ayu songs that had some lyric similarities. I believed at the time and still believe now that these weren’t accidental similarities and that the subject of the songs may be the same or they are at least connected in some way. I found a new example today of these similarities so I figured I’d just share a few.

Close to you and Together when…:

Close to you: “Even if I’m reborn some day
I will surely find you”

Together When…: ” Maybe I shall be born again to myself some day
And start a journey to find you”

A song for XX and And then…:

A Song for XX:
"The sun is rising. I must go soon.I can’t stay in the same place forever.”

And then…:
"Didn’t I say I couldn’t stay in a place that’s always the same?
Let’s leave this city together before the sun rises.”

End Roll and M:

End Roll: “I remember how I’ve always
pulled the curtains in an awkward way.”

M: “Again, somewhere in this city today
two people will meet and fall in love;
the curtains are violently opened.”

Appears and Scar:

Appears: “The lovers, seemingly happy,
hold hands and walk.
It looks like everything is going perfectly, but
no one knows the truth.”

"They meet again somewhere today,
those two people who understand each other.
A tale of lost love
is repeated again.”

Immature and Marionette:

"Hidden in the shadow of a grey building
I said “who’s that waiting patiently?”
I saw it while rubbing my eyes.
It was me, you, and that girl.”

"Please don’t forget
Me, that girl, and you”

There are probably more similiarties but to list them all would probably take me all day. If you know any that I missed or have any input/comments/feedback, etc. please feel free to message me. I might get back to reviewing Ayumi Hamasaki albums at some point since I’ve been looking at my old posts so I can tell where I left off now.

Last night I had a dream where Namie Amuro, Gackt, Utada Hikaru, and Raven Symone were all in one movie

What has tumblr done to my mind?

10 Dark Ayumi Hamasaki PVs I can’t get enough

This isn’t particularly ranked…it’s just 10 dark videos I love and can’t get enough of.These are just opinions and speculations so I do not claim any of this to be fact. You are allowed to completely disagree with me. There are other powerful videos that didn’t make the list because I choose 10. Feel free to comment or give any feedback.

  • Alterna: An interesting video that provides a dark commentary on the life of a celebrity, namely Ayu’s own fame and comparing being a marionette or ‘singing machine’ to losing your own free will to what sells or what the company tells you will sell. I like videos that have odd imagery and this one certainly has a few and I found even the humor at the end of the boy lifting the girl’s dress to be a commentary on society and fame.
  • Ourselves: Whether the other people in this video, most of them at least…were actually Ayu or just people wearing Ayu masks the video was quite frightening. Having Ayu captured and I guess….tortured…I’m not sure, the defacing of, at the time her only Best album was quite intersting. I remember reading that Ayu was very upset about Avex asking her to re-record some of her songs for that album and people have said her single tear was the only sign of protest against this (see 2004 NTV special on Ayumi Hamasaki, this is where I learned of this) I feel like the Ourselves video was a continuation of this protest and in all honesty I agree whole-heartedly with Ayu, prefering the originals to re-recorded singles. 
  • Moments: Despite this song being quite happy and pleasent the video is quite dark. The children in the garden are tearing apart these maniquins or dolls…not sure, they looked kind of like the art models you buy to help you draw, either way they were tearing aprt the limbs of these things and seemed quite pleased by it. The Ayu that is caring a lamp watches them, looking upset by the sight, or a look of feeling sorry for the dolls. The Ayu laying on the ground with either ink, blood, or something smeared on her body makes you wonder if the kids were actually tearing her apart. It almost makes this ballad about doing anything for the one you love quite frightening.
  • 1 Love: My guess is that this was some sort of illegal circus, the circus acts were pretty typical but the addition of musician was clearly added for another commentary, perhaps again on fame. As a little humor they also had a nerdy kid wearing a backpack and baseball cap called ‘the otaku’ The other Ayu in the video was spying on the circus and recording footage into a camera on her ring, when she confronts the ring leader/clown about it however, mentioning she’d call the police he decides to make her a circus act as well. Looking at the songs lyrics itself you could almost argue that this is a commentary on modern life and the pursuit of love.
  • Free & Easy: I have read that Ayu was supposed to be portraying a modern joan of arc for the photo shoot of the Free & Easy single but I don’t know if this is confirmed or not. Within the video itself she is a prisioner who is being taken to what we can only assume to be her execusion, as we also see shots of people preparing a coffin. At the very end of the video the coffin is seen being carried out, we can only assume that perhaps Ayu herself was placed in the coffin.
  • Marionette: While not really being very grim in the traditional sense of Ayu being portrayed as harmed or dying. It does portray dark and intersting imagery of marionettes dancing around a carousel and coming to life. In the end it appears almost as if the Ayu viewing the display becomes a marionette, so the marionettes become human and the human became a marionette in other words. Not sure of the exact message but I found it interesting in any sense. 
  • Ladies Night: One of the portrayed Ayu’s is wandering through a hotel with her bag and looking for I guess her hotel room. She finds a room with strange people, and then quickly leaves, sees more imagrey, such as a faceless reflection of herself. She tries to call for help and then attempts to escape of the elevater that in the end closes in on her, if you look closely you can see this creepy man standing behind her in the final scene. The other Ayu is seen as giving a speech in a military-esque outfit to what looks like the store mannequins (that they use to advertise outfits) wearing what could be military jackets and marching by her command.  This is one I often like to ponder exactly what is being said as the deeper message.
  • Part of me: This video has a lot of traditional Japanese imagery and Ayu looks absolutly stunning as a Geisha, keep in mind this was the only new song produced in the A Best 2 album, which contained a White and a Black side. In the end of the video Ayu undoes her hair and it’s been quite some time since I saw the video however I do remember that it appeared she died while her hair was growing, I could be wrong on this fact, and may have to take a fresh look again. I also don’t know if this relates to a Japanese story or not since I don’t have much knowledge on that subject.
  • Don’t look back: There are two sides of Ayu we see. An Ayu with her hair up and looking quite upset and another with her hair down, against a wall smiling and laughing. This Ayu is also shown standing in front of what I believe may have been an A Best 2 picture and it contains many marks and scratches that appear to have been intentionally made. The marks were reddish and the Ayu who is seen seated does have lipstick with her, so it is possible that the marks were made with lipstick. We also see a flash of scissors and hair on the table. Later on the other side of the seated Ayu’s face is revealed and we see the other side of her hair is down and quite messy, her face make up and lipstick is smeared and uneven. To me this PV perfectly matches the lyrics, of the inability to change your past no matter how you wish you could and the realization that you must go on despite the pain you feel from it and your hesitance. In Japan cutting hair is a sign of letting go of the past and moving on. There was also constant imagery of a warped clock, that I am not sure yet what it could mean. Don’t look Back is a personal favorite of mine.
  • Moon: Ayu is seen in a big European style room. There is also some sort of thing that is pouring ink, I imagine for those old fasioned pens. She is quite distraught as she is singing and we see brief flashes in normal color of her cuddling and playing with one of her dogs. The rest of the video is in dark and gloomy colors. Near the end she is sitting under the device that is pouring ink and when it overflows the ink drenches her and her clothes, she is seen as looking quite upset. I am not sure if this was around that time or not but I recall one of her dogs, the oldest had passed away and I am not sure if that was a reference or not, the timing could be off but either way it fascinated me.
While Waiting for the bus a car driving by was playing audience at max volume

As an Ayu fan that made my day!

Music survey thing…not mine but did it cause yes…

Music Survey

List 10 random musical artists you like in no specific order. Warning: Do not read the questions below before listing your favorite artists.

1. Gackt

2. Ayumi Hamasaki

3. Namie Amuro

4. Eiffel 65

5. Ootsuka Ai

6. Aiuchi Rina

7. Lady Gaga

8. Rammstein

9. Evanescence

10. Shimamiya Eiko

What’s the first song you ever heard by #6?

Deep Freeze, I heard it on an episode of Hey Hey Hey back when we had the international channel on our TV and they played reruns of that show at night.

What’s your favorite song by #8?


What are your favorite lyrics by #5?

“I thought that if we loved each other deeply enough

Then even if we reached the end of time here someday

I’d love you forever

With my arms outstretched” ~Ootsuka Ai (Cherish)

What song by #3 makes you the happiest?

Rock Steady

When did you first get into #2?

January 10 years ago

How did you get into #3?

My Japanese teacher showed a video of hers in class (Wild)

What is your favorite song by #4?

Brightly Shines

Have you seen #9 live? How many times?

No and if I don’t it’s ok.

Favorite album by #7?

Fame monster, since after that she went downhill somewhat in my opinion.

What’s your favorite song by #1?


How did you become a fan of #10?

She sings the opening for Higurashi and I thought she sounded good so looked up other songs of hers.

How long have you known #9?

Erm…IDK for a few years…

Top 5 by #5.

In terms of listens but probably not actual top 5 I’d say  5. Mirai Taxi 4. Momo no hanabira 3. Daisuki da yo. 2. Smiley 1. Gingyou Hanabi

Have you ever seen #10 live?

No, and never will since she probably won’t sing again.

Have you ever met  #4?

Only in my dreams…I did get a letter from one of the members!

What’s your favorite album by #1?

Tie between Diabolos and Reborn

Favorite lyric by #7?

The French one in Bad Romance cause I like it and I don’t feel like looking it up and refuse to butcher it by attempting to write it.

What’s #2’s best song?

All of her songs are the best!

How many times have you seen #2 live?

Once, best day of my life!

Which one of these have you known the longest?

Eiffel 65

Favorite song by #9?


20 Japanese words I learned from JPOP

Who says you don’t learn from JPOP? I certainly learned quite a few words, here are 20 Japanese words I learned from JPOP/JROCK songs…if you haven’t already read my Anime one which is much earlier so…good luck finding it…^_^

Genjitsu- Reality- There are many Hamasaki Ayumi songs that use this word because she is such a deep thinker in her lyrics, I often here this word in L’arc en cial songs.

Itami- Pain- Often heard in love songs since… well love songs that are said often mention this ‘pain’ that they have so yes… heard it a lot.

Kisetsu- Again from Hamasaki Ayumi songs since alot and I mean a lot of her songs mention the seasons or a specific season.

Jounentsu- Passion- from a lot of boy band songs but also artists like Utada Hikaru…it’s a nice word

Tsuyoi- Strong- Not sure where I first heard it

hanabira- Flower petals- Otsuka Ai songs…that is all.

dakishimete- embrace, hug, hold tight- Gack songs and other male songs as well as some Ayu songs…it’s a nice word.

tokubetsu- special- Otsuka Ai song again…yes…but I hear it in Anime too.

utau- song- from Hamasaki Ayumi songs and plenty of other artists

Hanabi- Fireworks, countless JPOP and Jrock songs since fireworks is a common summer in Japan and in general so it ofen appears in love songs where love is compared to fireworks and what have you.

Koi- love- I didn’t know about this 2nd word for love until I started listening to JPOP music and learned later from my Japanese tutor that this is a lighter form of love, like a crush or boyfriend/girlfriend versus ai which is love for family or deep love for your partner.

Egao-smiling face from Gackt songs, he says this a lot…other songs do too

yurusu- to allow (forgive?)- I hear this a lot in Ayumi Hamasaki songs and often in the form of “yurusareru” (to be allowed) like in BALLAD.

Kotoba- word- you hear this alot…obviously…so hard to pinpoint one spot.

Shashin- picture- no lie I learned this in a song before I learned it formally in class, plenty of songs I love like “Sepia” by Shela and many others use Shashin in their songs.

motto- more- All the songs, though probably learned in from Gackt’s song Vanilla…yeah…

Jikan- hour,time- Often times we talk about time in songs and often how cruel it cam be…so yeah I hear it a lot.

Kanashii-sad- Yes, a lot of sad songs use the word sad ((Hope I didn’t put this in my Anime one lol)

Shiawase- happy- I learned emotions from songs I guess lol

Ashita- tomorrow- because it’s so commonly sung about in Jpop right?

Ayumi Hamasaki’s birthday, 20 reasons I love and will continue to love her.

Thank you guys so much for your feedback! I was so happy to find that so many people told me what they wanted to see me post and I’m so happy that you guys are helping me to celebrate of Queen’s b-day! I am going to do a top 20 list of reasons I love and continue to love Ayu, they are not really in any particular ranking since they all are important factors and it would seem unfair to place some as more important than others. Please enjoy! Also there are more reasons I am sure but I’d be here all day and I have class lol…so 20 is good for now.

20 Reasons I love and continue to love Ayumi Hamasaki:

01. She inspires me: Her music and poetic lyrics inspired me at the age of 12 to take up writing free verse poetry to relieve my stress and often I will listen to her songs to come up with ideas for writing or to help the poem flow.

02. She is unlike any other artist: Coming from an era of music where I felt like everyone was trying to be the next big hit and therefore started copying each other Ayu was a breath of fresh air to me, so much that I almost cried. It was like I had finally found her…the one person who was unlike any other artist.

03. She is beautiful: No matter what fashion choice, even if I am not the biggest fan of it I can never deny the beauty that Ayu exhibits both externally and internally. I can feel her heart through her music and that is why to this day Ayu remains one of the few artists who can move me to tears whether or happiness or in sadness.

04. Her albums tell a story:  Her albums seem almost perfectly ordered that takes along on a journey, of love, life, happiness, and sadness. When her albums used to be released at the end or beginning of the year I liked to think that she was taken us through her life of that year even knowing some of her songs might be about a friend’s experiences.

05. Ayu’s lyrics: Her lyrics, which she herself writes are inspirational, deep, thought-provoking, honest, and pure. They have moved me to tears, lightened up my day, relieved my stress, and kept me company when I was alone. It is difficult to know exactly how to word this.

06. I can relate to her: Her music, her lyrics, the pain she’s been through, the fact that she is still fighting on despite everything she’s gone through. I have felt similar feelings in my life and I have felt at times that no one was there for me but always… always I have Ayu’s music waiting for me when I got home, I could listen to her songs and cry, it helped me to feel calm, like confiding in a close friend after a bad day. Yes, that’s what it has always been like.

07. Her PVs: Ayu’s PVs range from upbeat and fun to dark and strange but they also contain a deep message, symbolic meaning, and beautiful imagery. Her PV for Jewel was one of the most expensive PVs of all time simply because of all the jewels used in it.

08. She’s professional: Ayu again and again has shown a great perfectionism towards her work, always putting her soul and energy into her work, giving a 110% percent to make sure that she gets the best performance out to her fans sometimes even to the point whee she’ll ignore her own health, like in the Dome tour 2001, when she performed an entire encore on a sore leg.

09. She isn’t afraid to be controversial: many of her PVs have been seen as being strange but often times controversial and she will host themes that often shock people but in the case of her fans we openly welcome it, it is a powerful way to get her message across. Dark videos such as Alterna and 1LOVE as well as party videos such as Lady Dynamite and let us not forget the beautifulyu inspirational Howe Beautiful you are PV.

10. Her live performances: If you have ever seen an Ayumi Hamasaki person, either in person or on DVD you cannot deny that she really puts on a performance. With a setlist of many different songs, the order of which is decided by Ayu herself and themed concerts with videos and costumes to make everything unfold into a story on the stage you cannot deny that there is a great amount of hard work and dedication by herself and her staff to make the best performance possibly.

11. She loves her fans: Ayu is always thankfully for her fans and many times thanks us by continuing to work hard and showing great dedication to her art. Even releasing songs written directly to the songs including by not limited to Present, Audience, Red Line ~for TA~.

12. She is accepting: I must say that I am fan of Ayu’s either way but when I realized her acceptence of Homosexual relationships and any relationship in general I just felt that much more sure in my love for her and I am glad that she continues to support us.

13. She is dedicated to her country: the fact that during last year’s earthquake she felt a great pull towards her home country and that even her relationship fell apart because of that, as sad and in pain I was over that I am very impressed by her dedication to Japan.

14. She is not afraid to show her emotions on the stage: Sometimes during a performance she will get emotional and sometimes continuing it becomes difficult for her to continue singing but her fans cheer her on and she continues. I am happy to be one of the people who during her 2012 performance that night in Fukuoka who encouraged her along with a whole stadium of fans during her performance of Tell me Why when she became a little emotional but she sang on, her voice strong and beautiful as ever.

15. Her nails: Ayu has the most beautiful and creative nail designs I have seen and I am not usually into nail designs but when it comes to Ayu I am always paying attention. I currently have long nails that after I get tired of them I cut them but I like to pose like Ayu sometimes just for fun since my nails are also long…they are nowhere near as nice as hers though.

16. She’s cute: Ayu is full of energy on the stage, in her PVs, and when she appears on TV shows and she always has such adorable moments with the other guests, and behind the scenes that you just want to run up and hug her.

17. She isn’t prideful: Despite all the success and setting record sales year after year and winning multiple awards Ayu isn’t prideful, she carries herself in a modest manner and always thanks her fans for her tremendous success, not once suggesting her own talents to be the reason for her success.

18. The instrumentals of her songs: Her songs are always well-composed and the music is very catchy and creative. Ayu has tried many different styles and the music seems to vary a little but overall I feel her band is very talented and they produce great instrumental pieces.

19. Her songs are fun to sing: I am always singing Ayu songs throughout the day and thanks to being in Japan with karaoke being so big I’ll go sing her songs even if just by myself and fall in love with her songs all over again and squeal when they actually include her PV or play her concert while I sing.

20. Her new releases: The sheer excitement and anticpation whenever Ayu announces a new realease is such a great feeling and when finally you hear her new song for the first time and you think “That’s perfect, better than I thought.” and you become so excited for the PVs and the full release that you can’t even stand it…yes this is the feeling I’ve had ever since 2002.

Thank you so much for reading my top 20, sorry for no pics on this post but I will add more later assuming I will remember… I will do my normal Japan update but after that for the remainder of this day…here in Japan I will reblog only Ayu after that on my personal, this does not extend to my RP blogs however. So…around let’s see… 11AM there it will already be the next day so I will post other things after that time. Please leave feedback if you wish, share in the love, if you have different reasons share them if you like and we’ll have an Ayu love fast. Happy Birthday Ayumi Hamasaki! Please continue to grace us with your greatness!

To celebrate our queen’s birthday

Okay, tomorrow is Ayumi Hamasaki’s birthday (October 2nd) and I am currently trying to come up with what kind of post to make to commemorate it… now when I do this sort of thing sometimes I get some feedback, sometimes I get none so if you see someone else has already given feedback you can still give feedback, anyway tomorrow is Ayumi Hamasaki’s birthday and I wanted to do something on tumblr to commemorate it, now obviously I’ll probably be reblogging Ayu which is what I usually do and I a contemplating only reblogging her tomorrow, we’ll see if I stick to that… Anyway, in terms of what else to do on tumblr I wanted some suggestions. What kind of post should I make? I’ll list a few possibilities but you can always give me your feedback…

  • An Ayumi Hamasaki related top 10 post
  • a poem or poems I wrote dedicated to her
  • Opinions on ___ (list Ayu album or something related to the realm of Hamasak Ayumi)
  • a letter to Ayumi Hamasaki (sadly I can’t actually send one to her but I could write one as if I could)
  • Dreams with Ayu in them
  • Anything else that you suggest?

If I get only one suggestion I’ll probably do that…if I get no suggestion I’ll just pic one… If I get more than one I’ll go with either the one I like most or the one that seems to be most popular. I go by Japan time right now so you guys have until about 7:30PM to send me feedback, thanks in advance!

Ayumi Hamasaki 2012: Hotel Love Songs, our experience

We left the hotel early and took the bus to Fukuoka Marine Messe where Ayu’s final day of Hotel Love Songs 2012 would take place. When we first arrived we bought some goods, we bought a fan for each of us, the fan had her tour logo on it. We also bought two t-shirts, one for each of us that basically had the tour log and the little designs on it, sort of leopard print, mine was black and Poppy’s was pink. I also bought a black wrist band and a bag, both of which are black and have her logo on it (sorry not much of a pink fan even though the fans are pink). After that it started raining so they began to let people inside the arena. Our seat wasn’t too terrribly far away. One of the stands on the right side and it was maybe 200 feet from the main stage at the most. It was early so we sat for about 40 minutes to an hour while listening to excited fans chatting amongst themselves and Ayupan talking on the screen about the goods you could purchase, half of which I didn’t even see at the venues. The 2nd video they played was an ‘ad’ for hotel love songs, it was made to look like one of those hotel resort commercials. I swear the guy narrating it was Timothy, but I could be wrong… it was in English but they had Japanese subs at the bottom of the screen.

The concert was mainly hotel themed and as always Ayu had her clowns to start us off. Her first song that she sang was Happening Here which was upbeat and energetic to get things started. I am sorry if after this point I get the order of songs wrong as well as if I miss any songs as my emotions were so crazy that my mind may mess up the order. After Happening Here and a short intro video Ayu sang Reminds me which was an emotional performance with great choreography. After that they transitioned into Tell Me Why. Ayu got very emotional during this performance and had trouble singing part of the 2nd verse because of this but as always her voice remained beautifully in tact. After that and a short video Ayu surprised me by singing Appears! Wow, never thought I’d see her sing Apppears live! Again, very nice performance but I will probably keep saying that so maybe I should stick with description. Oh, the outfit during Happening Here was a bellhop looking one and she had a green regal but still somewhat bellhop looking outfit for Reminds me and Tell me Why. For Appears she was wearing pink Pajamas and a short-haired wig.

Next was Shake it <3 during which she wore jeans and a sparkling jacket as well as a medium-length blonde haired wig. The music was very upbeat and somewhat sexy. After that they transitioned into sparkle which as expected was very colorful, Ayu also took off the jacket to reveal a low cut, one-shouldered tank top. Then we have Step you which was as fun as always and then Na Na Na. Na Na Na was pretty good and Ayu attempted to recreate the techno effect in a way which sounded cute. After that we transition to an almost 50s bar like scene where Ayu sings the Next love and Eyes, Smoke, Magic. It was a little raunchy (which is actually how Ayu described it herself). After this came my favorite part Return Road. Ayu’s dress was black and white though the white part of the dress changed colors throughout the song to match her emotions and similarly to the PV she was searching helplessly for her lover only on stage they were men in robes, so it was very dark compared to the soldiers in my opinion. In the end she tries to reunite with him but fails to do so. The next two songs were Ladies Night and Party Queen. Ladies Night was cute, Ayu wore a cat-girl/maid outfit and of course it was very sparkly. She looked cute though. The song after that was Surreal-evolution-Surreal. During this song she had the audience jump and sing “Wow Yeah…” After that was Boys & grils during which we sang with her at the usual point. Love Song was the final pre-encore song for that evening.

The encore songs were Hanabi, You and Me, and finally How beautiful you are. She wore her own version of the pink tour T-shirt and blue shorts for the encore. Her hair was brownish and back in a pony tail. She also had matching pink sneakers. She thanked us all for coming and it was an emotional end to a wonderful concert. If you ever get the chance to see Ayu especially in Fukuoka, her hometown… never hesitate…just go ok? Even if you aren’t a fan (lol, JK…please say tickets for fans if you aren’t a fan) seriously though go if you get the chance. This is a dream I’ve had for 10 years and finally last night I got to go! I was a little teary at times realizing it…that Ayu was right there… in the same place, on that stage! SO close! I may not have gotten her autograph or caught anything she threw but I am so greatful that I was there last night!